Holidaze

I heard a doctor say that before the holidays, Neurology is busy and after the holidays Psychology gets really busy.  Seems the stress of the season brings out people’s ticks and spending time with family requires a counseling session.  The most wonderful time of year has become a survival skills test of modern life.  Why do we do this to ourselves? 

I think the biggest problem is we try to celebrate it too much.  In a concentrated frenzy, we shop for gifts, decorate, and cook for Christmas.  There are work parties, friend’s gathering and family traditions.  (Just from work alone, I got four invites for holiday parties!)  By Christmas Day, you’ve already been celebrating Christmas for 3-4 weeks.   All the sparkly lights and sugary treats become a holiday blur and it stops being fun and starts being a chore.  How do you enjoy the holidays, while not driving yourself mad?

Being on my own this season has made me very conscious of making good choices to be able to enjoy the holiday season.  My major revelation has been prioritizing what is not important and minimizing the time spent on it: 

-          Christmas cards. I skipped this. I admit, I was very tempted (to feel obligated) to send Christmas cards, at least to those who sent them to me.  I resisted.

-          Decorations. I started to rile myself up over decorations and then realized, decking my house out was not all that important to me. Instead, I volunteered to decorate the office.  I get to see lovely holiday decorations five times a week.

-          Gifts.  Shopping for gifts is a chore.  So I got my shopping done early. I simply asked people what they wanted and shopped online, as much as, possible. The day after Thanksgiving, I was at the post office, mailing off boxes.  That’s right, Rani Claus brings you exactly what you asked for!

-          Holiday parties.  I scheduled the important ones first so that I didn’t end up trying to juggle my time.   I also said no thanks to some invites.

I know, I sound a little grinchy.  Like the majority of people, I really want to enjoy the holidays, but the list of “to-dos” and “should dos” has become a burden.  I minimized or eliminated the things I wasn’t really enjoying.  I was left with time to focus on the people and things, I do enjoy:

-Spending quality time with family.  I used to go back to Hawaii for Christmas, but people were busy there too. To spend time with them, I practically had to follow them around while they did the Christmas chores.  Now, I plan my Hawaii trips during non-holidays for maximum quality time.  I direct my attention to the family I do have here.   My sister and I have an annual Christmas lunch with my Aunty.  This year, there are some popular Hawaii entertainers coming to Cali to do a Christmas show, which my sister and I got tickets too! So I get quality family time and taste of Hawaii.

-          Event Traditions.  There is no shortage of events you can participate in for the holidays. Instead of trying to do them all, I decided to pick a couple and really enjoy them.  My picks for this year are Holiday of Lights at Folsom Zoo and ice skating. Ice skating last through January, so if I don’t make it before Christmas, I will be okay with that. 

-          Christmas Feast.  I try to make good eating choices prior to the holiday. By saving special food for the special day, it is well- actually special.

-          Sweets and Treats. Oh the temptations are endless, but I have my favorites like- peppermint mochas. Yes, I realize you can get these year round, but I only get them during the holiday season. That makes it taste even better.  It is amazing how much the little things matter.

So far my post-Thanksgiving time has been manageable. I suffer some residual guilt for saying no to party invitations and not sending out Christmas cards.  But mostly I relish the calmness that allows me to enjoy this season.  This may be the first Christmas, I’ve actually had time to enjoy since childhood.

Perfect is the Enemy of Good

Here I am again… weeks have gone by without me posting a blog. I have no good reason for not crafting a weekly post, but let me try out a few theories: 1) The weather changed- it got dark and cold and I just followed my instincts to seasonally slow down. 2) Life is peacefully, so nothing fired me up to get a good piece going.  3)  Writing both thrills and scares me into inertia.

While all of these excuses make up the truth, #3 is the biggest part of why I haven’t been writing.  Honestly, I haven’t even attempted to write a blog, but I thought about it- a lot. I feel pressure to produce and publish only perfection.   That kind of pressure creates avoidance, because I hate to fail.  I thought about just deleting the whole Rice Kracker blog and stop stressing myself unnecessarily.

But I just can’t quit writing because it is my outlet for creating something. I am not artsy or mechanically inclined, but I can use words to build something.   I love the way you start with a blank screen and sentence by sentence a piece gets created.   You arrange, rearrange, delete and revise until thoughts are shaped into a symphony of words.  

Another reason I can’t quit is writing is an adventure.  I often start writing not really knowing where I am heading and then ending up somewhere I never thought I would.  For example, I wrote this blog intending to expound upon how you shooting for perfection can paralyze you, but instead it has evolved into how much I love creating with words.

Having a blog to write is a good thing for me. It exercises my creative muscles.  I need to get pass perfect inertia and just write. I need to take the time to do this regularly.  I need to face that blank screen and see what adventures are in store.

November Thanks Givings

November is my month for making key commitments- this week makes one year at CrossFit and twelve years at UC Davis. Happy Double Anniversary!  Both institutions have had a huge positive impact in my life. You could say, it is how I spend my days and nights.

UC Davis has allowed me so many professional opportunities. To date, I’ve worked in 3 colleges, 5 departments and have had 7 job titles.  All that experience without having to switch employers.  It was my parent’s dream for me to be a “state employee” and they may have just been right about something. UC Davis has been there for me when I was young and into fun, when I went back to school for my MBA and now when I want a work-life balance. 

CrossFit has been an amazing transformational force.  It has given me fitness, challenge and social opportunities.  My first six months were about survival.  After I came back from Hawaii, I really dedicated effort to improving and as someone said “it is like someone turned a switch on and you lit up.”  I started thriving. I mastered some of my weaknesses (wall balls, box jumps, and the barbell), I entered a CrossFit competition, I did a strength program for 10 weeks and I ran a Zombie Mud Run with obstacles!   Doing CrossFit is just as much a mental as it is physical.  I’ve discovered I am capable of so much more than I thought. I do hard things because they are hard.  Perhaps the most unexpected gift from CrossFit has been mental fortitude, which has applied to every aspect of my life.

Stable employment, a challenging social activity, good health and having my own place are the reasons my life is so satisfying.  It gives me a strong foundation, so I can be a good daughter, sister, friend, employee, pet owner etc.  November is a month for being thankful and UC Davis and CrossFit are two things I am extremely grateful to have in my life.

Minestrone Soup

The best thing about a rainy forecast all week- soup weather! 

 Here is one of my favorite recipes from Giada deLaurentiis.

Ingredients:

1 onion

2 carrots

2 celery

2 cloves of garlic

3 ounces pancetta

1 pound swiss chard

1 potato cubed

1 can diced tomatoes

1 fresh spring rosemary

1 15 ounces can of cannellini beans

2 14 ounce cans of beef broth

Preparation:

Sauté chopped onions, carrots, celery, and garlic in olive oil for about 10 minutes.
Add pancetta and cook another 10 minutes.
Add cubed potatoes and salt. Cook another 10 minutes.
Add swiss chard. Cook for 2 minutes.
Add rosemary and can of diced tomatoes.  Cover and cook for 10 minutes.
Puree cannellini beans with beef broth.
Add puree and cook 20 minutes (or til potatoes are soft).
Remove rosemary.

Use salt and pepper as needed.

My Modifications:

• For the onions, carrots and celery, I cheat and buy the pre-cut mireproix mix from Trader Joe’s.  I cook them in bacon fat to give the soup even more flavor.
• If you can’t find swiss chard, try using kale.
• I’ve used dried rosemary rather than fresh and didn’t notice a huge difference.
• This recipe also freezes well, so I usually make two batches at a time. 

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/winter-minestrone-recipe/index.html

Good-Bye Adventures in Yumminess

     My journey into the kitchen was a loooong one... but it took me from can't cook/don't wanna cook to writing a food blog. I am sharing my story, for those of you out there who think "I can't cook," because I believe anyone can learn.

     10 years ago, I barely knew where the kitchen in my apartment was.  This was ironic, since I did the new hire training for Serv Safe, which covered how employees should handle and prepare foods.  I didn't really like to cook back then, but I loved eating good food. Having to talk about food preparation three times a week, I began to suspect, you can't fully appreciate food until you've tried preparing it. So I started trying..

     My strategy was to learn how to make at least one item from each major food categories.  I started with stirfrys because they were easy as 1-2-3:- 1. pick a protein (beef, chicken, pork), 2. pick some veggies and 3. pick a sauce and wallah- you've got a meal. I progressed to other food categories, one at a time.  For pastas- I mastered a lasagna, for soups- beef stew, for breads- my mom's cornbread recipe, etc. Soon I could actually cook something for any occasion.

     My next source of inspiration came from- of all places- the gym.  Why is it that the TV channel in gyms is always set to the Food Network? ( I still haven't figure out how being tempted with delicious foods helps with getting in shape). It did get my attention though and the Barefoot Contessa and Giada spurred me to the next level of cooking.   I learned about flavoring foods and using in-season produce.  This is when I got excited about cooking. Which is exactly around the time I met Food Muse and our first outing together was the San Francisco's Farmer's Market.  The Farmer's Market was an all-out showing of how fabulous food is and full of enthusiastic (sometimes slightly famous) kitchen magicians. 

     When I think back, the game changing item for me was the Heirloom Tomato. I have always been a fan of tomatoes and to find out they come in such variety and color- each with their own flavor was amazing!  Inspired- I started sprinkling fresh herbs like basil and oregano on tomatoes, I started roasting tomatoes, I started making my own marinara sauce with the roasted tomatoes. Marinara sauce led to homemade meatballs and minestrone soup and on and on and on...until one day I realized that my cooking actually tasted better than eating out. With that realization, I stopped saying "I can't cook" and started my Kitchen Magician apprenticeship.

     What started this blog post was a recent article:  What's keeping America out of the kitchen?

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/whats-keeping-americans-out-of-their-kitchens-national-survey-reveals-the-top-excuses-for-not-cooking-2011-09-08.  

28% Can't cook

25% Don't want to clean up mess

21% Don't have enough time

     It reminded me of how far I have come in the kitchen. I have been a part of these statistics and I missed out by not getting into the kitchen sooner.  I know cooking can be intimidating.  I know it takes time. I know you are afraid of ruining food. But America, cooking is a basic life skill, which 28% of us don't possess?  Start small and keep building your repertoire.  Make learning to cook an adventure and  use it to build relationships with others (people love to talk about food). Surely, my passion for food outweighs my skills.  But hopefully, my story shows you that even the most unwilling can be converted into a decent ambassador for food. 

This was my favorite post from my blog "Adventures in Yumminess" which I have decided to delete. It tracked a year in my life, in which, I really focused on crafting my kitchen skills.  However, it also captured a relationship, which I don't really want to memorialize. It served its purpose because the kitchen is now my favorite room and I really do enjoy cooking.  If I can become comfortable in the kitchen, anyone can!

Sugar Shakedown

Confession: I am a sugar addict. Sugar is my white powder of joy. It presses all the happy buttons in my head and then leaves me with the worse headache/hangover, but I always go back to it. This is the time of year where sugar starts ruling my life. It starts with Halloween candy and continues with all the holiday treats right through New Years. I indulge and spend two months in total sugar intoxication.

I walked by the co-workers desk and saw that the Halloween candy is already out!  This means if I start right now, it will be three months of sugar time!  This is not good.   And you know what?  Halloween candy is not actually that good. I mean it was good when I was a kid, but I have more “refined” tastes now.  So I decided to boycott Halloween candy.  I smugly high fived myself for stopping the downward sugar spiral. Go me!

However, I was still eating cupcakes, raspberry truffles and chocolate cheesecake, which were not in violation “no Halloween candy” policy. Oh and there was also a dark chocolate bar from Trader Joe’s.  You see sugar finds its way into my life (into all of our lives) in so many different ways. It is sneaky. The sugar fixes go on and on until not eating sugar actually hurts- oh the withdrawals! As my co-worker pointed out, the best cure for sugar withdrawal is to eat more sugar. 

This needs to stop! How can I best fight this battle?  Saying no to sugar forever is not realistic. I want to be able to enjoy sugar, but not let it be in control of me. Often I let sugar be an emotional decision.  I have developed a million ways to justify why I deserve a “treat.”  A treat needs to actually be a treat, not a daily occurrence.  I don’t want to be a sugar addict.

I don’t know the magical plan for getting sugar under control, but I do know my first step is to start making smarter sugar decisions. Here are some things I’ll start with:

• Quality sugar- skip the crap sugar products.  If I am going to indulge it has to be worth it.
• No more keeping random sugar in my home.  If it is there, I will eat it. If I want sugar, I need to go out and get it.
• Plan sweet treats so I have something to look forward too.

Sorry sugar, you aren’t the boss of me anymore (I hope).

Blame it on the Barbell

I haven't blogged in almost two months...what have I been up to?

I have been on a quest to become friends with the barbell, via a ten week strength program at CrossFit.  Five days a week of  back squats, snatches, cleans, jerks, front squats, presses, overhead squats and deadlifts.  It was an ambitious undertaking because I considered myself "as weak as a kitten,"  but the in-house competition made me want to know my way around a barbell.

Week 1 was almost too easy.  I did my strength workout and then the daily WOD.  I approached Week 2 with caution but still did both strength and the WOD with a smile. Week 3 is when it finally caught up to me- I stopped being able to sleep. I would lie in bed completely jacked up. I couldn't fall asleep because of the physical pain and I was also mentally amped up all night. I tried to continue on in Week 4, but did discuss my sleeping issues with the trainer who said, "that is not good, you are over training."  It was also obvious that I didn't enjoy lifting as much as the WODs. Actually I really didn't enjoy lifting at all.

But I stuck with it- why?  Because the results were undeniable. I was lifting heavier, with better form and with more confidence.  I did alter the program to focus on the lifts that were most important to me (back squats, cleans, snatches and deadlifts).  By Week 7 my efforts were noticed- a trainer said I had made "light years" of progress. That almost made me cry, partially because I was so ground down physically, mentally and emotionally. I really really wanted to call it good and just go back to WODs, but I decided to continue for 3 more weeks.

I just finished up Week 9.   I broke down and got a massage to help alleviate the constant pain I've experienced. The knots in my back were so bad, I have bruises from the massage.  What do I have to show for all my efforts- lots!  My deadlift increased by 50lbs, I can lift half my weight overhead and  back squat my entire body weight. I can execute snatches and cleans without injuring myself (some of the bruises were hard to explain!). I approach the barbell with confidence.  I didn't quit and I also didn't kill myself.

I can't wait to get through next week and be able to say I did it!  CrossFit is never easy, but damn this was hard. So that is why I haven't blogged, I've been battling with the barbell, but we are friends now :)  What doesn't kill you makes your stronger.

Best Huffington Post Article Ever!

When I came across the article, "The Truth is Out There Ladies: Long Hair is Killing Your Career," I was fully prepared for eye rolling and loud sighs. Not another pseudo- study on how some trival physical characteristic will ensure woman will never achieve equality in the workforce. Of course, I couldn't look away from the trainwreck, so I clicked on the title and braced myself.

I wasn't prepared for the author's brillant use of sarcasm and sterotypes to bring home a valid point (a.k.a my personal opinion).  She had my full attention right at "pre-dead lady husks"  and long hair being bad for business.  I thought it couldn't any better but she takes it a level up: "But how will this affect my chances of getting a man? Because science has proven that men prefer women with long hair. They just do. It's science." 

So wait- now the length of your hair determines not only your career, but also your fate in love!!! At this point, I am screaming with glee at how masterfully fabulous this article has become. You can't have it all ladies- either you cut it for your career or grown it out to get a man.  This author perfectly captures the conflicting social messages, women get throughout their lives.

Fortunately, Maria de Cesare is not just about ranting, she actually has a message and in her closing paragraphs she brings us back to reason:  "If you get the sense that your employer is concerned about the length of your hair -- and you have a job as anything other than a hair model -- time to get the hell out of that job, sweetness."

Amen! The only thing wrong about this article is I didn't write it. Here is the link to the full article- Enjoy!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maria-de-cesare/long-hair_b_1710646.html

Overvaluing the "Struggle"

Doing a handstand is one of the rare athletic skills I have been blessed with. I pop up on the wall and hold my ground.  Others struggle- really struggle.  For some reason, both the yoga and CrossFit worlds in my life have decided the ability to do a handstand is of the upmost importance.  Of course, they take completely different approaches. I have been observing the advice they each give and how successful they are at getting people into a handstand.

At CrossFit there is only one step to doing a handstand: Get on the wall-Now!  Can't throw yourself up on the wall? Climb up the wall with your feet. Do it- Now!  Keep doing it until you get on the wall.

Yoga's approach is very gentle and there are multiple paths.  You can start with a familiar pose like down dog or dolphin and try to climb youself up a wall. You can move from goddess to crow to the beginnings of handstand. You can pair up with someone and take turns helping each other into handstand. I watched an instructor lead a class through 10 minutes of preliminary poses to the handstand.  By the time is was time for the big finale of attempting handstand, everyone looked worn out? I didn't know handstand could be turned it into a 27 step process?

So which method is more successful? Based on my (limited) observations, the CrossFit method gets more people in handstand and gets them there faster. I think this comes from the assumption behind the instructions. CrossFit treats handstand like a skill you need to do,so just do it already. Yoga marinates in the the "struggle" of getting to handstand.

I had a eight month "struggle" with box jumps. My CrossFit trainers repeated the same two part instructions over and over- look beyond the box and jump.    I couldn't get myself to jump on the 20 inch wooden box. So I got the mini-boxes and jumped on one, then stacked on another mini-box and jumped on two. I slowly built my confidence to 4 boxes, which was slightly higher than 20 inches.  I knew I could clear 20 inches, but I still couldn't jump on the wooden box.  So I focused on my feelings. I screamed and had melt downs in WODs, trying to get myself up on the box.  Eventually, I realized "struggling" was getting me no where. I forced myself on top of the box over and over until there was no more struggle, only success.

It is true, you can learn alot about yourself in the "struggle."  However, at some point, focusing on the struggle impedes progress.  You can only learn so much from your failures, evenutally, you need a success. Sometimes you have to stop investing in the struggle and leap onto the box or plant your hands on the ground and kick yourself up onto that wall.

Competition Day

Am I a competitor? Nine months into CrossFit and I entered my first competition to figure out the answer to that question.  It was an in-house competition, so very low on competitiveness and high on encouragement.  I spent 6 weeks preparing, working on the skills we were given hints on, and even had training partners. A week before the event, the workouts were released and I polished up my weaknesses (box jumps, rip digs, knees to elbows and cleans).  I scaled my workout during the week and took a rest day. I was prepared as I could be.

I had three goals: 1) get through all the workouts in the time cap 2) give my best performance and 3) have a good attitude and have some fun! I also hoped this would help me determine if I wanted to compete and of course I hoped to win. I did finish all the workouts in the time cap, I gave my best performance and I had fun. But I didn’t win. I came in last place. I would be lying if I said that didn’t sting. 

I allowed myself a tantrum. I had worked hard to come in last place? I could have done nothing and still been in last place! Not fair! I examined my performance- why hadn’t I done better?  I thought about quitting CrossFit, because obviously I suck! Fortunately, the six weeks of training and competition had worn me out to the point where I didn’t have that much energy to carry on a pity party.

So I got down to business. What could I have done better? Nothing. I can honestly say I did my best to prepare for the competition and then I gave my absolute best performance. If I hadn’t trained for six weeks, I would have never been able to do the workout or finish them in the allotted time. The other competitors were simply better than me.  That realization stung too.

The competition wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be a straightforward experience- do workouts and get points.  It was much more than that.  It was about summoning every ounce of will you have to keep going, connecting to others and finding determination to carry on, even when nothing goes as expected. 

Will I continue to compete? I don’t know. I will give it a couple more tries, but maybe my “best” will never be at the level needed for competition.   The real question I had to ask myself is “am I willing to do what it takes to be better and faster?” Well, I am a CrossFitter, so of course the answer is yes! The good news is coming in last means I have nothing to lose- I am either going to do the same or improve.  I didn’t “win”, but I also didn’t “lose” and I am far from giving up.  Sounds like a  competitor to me.

The Weight of Numbers

“As much as you work out, how have you not lost weight?” asked a person, who shall remain unnamed. A blunt question, but a fair one.   I’ve been doing Cross Fit 4-5 times a week, yoga at least once a week and eating decently. Yet I look the same? I haven’t weighed myself since January, because I didn’t own a scale.

 I finally bought a scale and was not surprised to find the number hasn’t changed much (I lost 3 lbs.).  My clothes still fit the same.  So according to the scale, nothing much has changed.  According to my Cross Fit log, a lot has changed! I am lifting at least 40 lbs heavier on all movements.  I also have a new mental fortitude- I do hard things because they are hard.  Somewhere along the line, I started chasing performance and forgot about appearance.  

Prior to Cross Fit, I believed I was physically weak and mentally strong. Eight months into Cross Fit, it is the exact opposite. I am physically stronger than I imagined and have lots of room to grow my mental game.  Every day, I look forward to pushing myself to be stronger, faster and better.  Now if that also mean losing lbs and having abs of steal- so be it! 

The reason I finally bought a scale was so I could calculate the percentage of my body weight I can lift.  Body weight does not tell the whole story, so don’t let the scale dictate your fitness experience. For me, performance outweighs appearance. 

So how did I respond to the unnamed person’s question?  I said, “Come do a Cross Fit WOD and then talk to me about my weight.” That shut down inquires about my weight. You get to choose how much numbers should weigh.

Here is some inspiring stuff :
http://www.niashanks.com/2012/07/stop-weighing-on-the-scale-for-weight-loss/

Homemade Bone Broth

Making my own broth from scratch somehow got classified as a kitchen milestone in my mind.  I felt I was missing out on something by not making my own broth.  It was something I kept putting off, until one Saturday, I noticed my favorite grass-fed beef vendor carried beef bones. On a whim, I bought a bag and then searched the Internet for a recipe.  I really hadn't thought out past thinking I should one day make broth from bones. As luck would have it, I found a recipe using my beloved crockpot! Crockpot equals add ingredients and walk away. In fact, the recipe said the longer it cooks, the better!

The recipe link is below:

Ingredients:

4 quarts of filtered water
1.5- 2 lbs of beef knuckle bones or marrow bones
3-5 cloves of fresh garlic

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
1Tsp unrefined sea salt 

Preparation:

Place all ingredients in a 6 quart crockpot and set the heat to HIGH

Bring the stock to a boil, then reduce the heat setting to LOW.

Allow the stock to cook for a minimum of 8 hours and up to 24 hours. The longer it cooks, the better!

Turn off the crockpot and allow the stock to cool.

Strain the stock through a fine mesh metal strainer and throw away what you skim off.

I had made my very first batch of homemade broth. I cooled it in the refrigerator and got the promised gelatinous consistency and layer of tallow.  Success! 

I gently scraped off the tallow and warmed myself up a few bowls, but really couldn't bring myself to do much else.  I was underwhelmed by the homemade broth milestone and uninspired to really do anything with it. I still have half a pack of bones to make another batch?  It was super easy to do and people rave about how nutritious it is, so I will try it again. 

I somehow thought this would be a more exciting sense of accomplishment.  Apparently, making something tasty from a bag of bones is not magical. But it is another kitchen skill to add to the collection. Not all bucket list items are superstars.

http://balancedbites.com/2011/04/easy-recipe-mineral-rich-bone-broth.html

Busy Joy

I love going to yoga on Sunday mornings.  It is a good way to reset mentally for the coming week. It is kinda like going to church, especially because the instructor will usually provide a topic for the practice. This Sunday's "sermon" was about the three things that make life happy: peace, love and joy.  We were to pick the one we were most lacking in our lives and think on it.  I have peace and love, but sometimes life is so busy I don't feel like there is time to actually enjoy it. Joy comes from having a purpose in the things you do. So I decided to actually map out what it is I am doing with my time.  Here is a 24 hour snap shot of my life:

5:45 am:  Wake up.Check CrossFit Centurion's website for today's WOD (Trust me, I am not the only one who does this first thing!). Get up, uncover the parakeets,turn the Keurig on and jump in the shower.

6:10am:  Make breakfast (sausage, eggs and coffee), pack lunch, clean up kitchen. Get ready for work while listening the Carly Rae Jepsen channel on Pandora. 
7:10am:  Commute to work, still listening to Carly Rae Jepsen channel on Pandora.  It is Monday, I need some lightness to start off the week.

7:50am to 4:20pm: Working like a state worker.  At lunch I start reading my library e-book "The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time."

4:30pm: Head home. Listening to my ipod on shuffle- I was in a spontaneous kind of mood.

5:00pm: Got home and prep dinner (chicken and artichoke). Had pre-CrossFit snack and fed parakeets. I also rolled out and stretched for 5 minutes- I am still feeling Saturday's workout.

6:00pm: Head over to CrossFit. Today's WOD is called "Suicide Watch." I've done this one before- it is sprints and kettle bell swings. Good news: you won't kill youself. Bad news: you will want to throw up.  I am just glad it doesn't invovle lifting heavy things repeatedly! After WOD worked on handstand pushups.

8:15pm: Eat dinner, clean up kitchen, shower and watch BattleStar Galactica.

10pm: Bedtime.  7.5 hours of sleep!

So the majority of my day is taken up by work (10 hours with commute time. That is 60% of my waking hours).  Life is busy!  Is it too busy to schedule in some joy?  I think the best way is to sneak in enjoyment through out the day: listening to music on the way to work, have some dark chocolate and tea after lunch, socializing at CrossFit. Life is what you make it. I can make it in to a grind or a flow.  The most important part is to be aware of these little moments of joy and fully enjoy them. That is my busy joy flow.

Summer 2012

Happy Summer Solistice! The first day of summer- yay!  The weather heated up sometime ago, so I am pleasantly surprised that the "actual" summer has just begun. Time seems to be moving more quickly with each year and how my time is spent seems a little unclear. So I decided to set some goals for my summer. This is my attempt to catch those fleeting moments and form them into a bigger purpose.

Goals for Summer 2012

1.  Be my "Best" self. The best I ever felt was during my 30 Day Challenge. Good nutrition led to good sleep and that led to good CrossFit performance. On top of that I wrote in my journal daily to hash out my day. So my first goal is to really take care of myself. Eat good foods, get enough sleep, and write in my journal. This should give me a solid base for the rest of my goals.

2.  Master the box jump. There is a 20" wooden box at CrossFit that is vexing me. Sometimes I can jump on it and sometimes I can't and the difference is all in my mind. These are my new spirit breakers and I am determine to jump on the box without flinching. Here is how it is suppose to go:
http://www.livestrong.com/video/5306-box-jumps/


3.  Give my best performance at the CrossFit Centurion in-house competition "War of the Centurions." I have never competed in an athletic event in my entire life, so this one is kind of a big deal for me. I expect I will learn a lot about myself. 

4.  Learn to grill like a pro.  I already ordered my grill and can't wait to get started. I loved grilled meats and veggies, but have never really grilled myself. Time to learn!

5.  Make and follow a budget (that includes savings).  Since I moved in January, my financial management could best be described as "by-the-seat-of-your pants."  I actually manage millions of dollars for a living, surely I can do it for myself as well (and there is much less than a million to manage for myself :).

6.  Watch all episodes of BattleStar Galactica & Caprica.  I used to make fun of people who watched BattleStar Galactica. I apologize. This is good stuff, but getting through 100ish episodes is a commitment!

7.  Have more "do nothing" time. Summer inspires lazy days. At least once a week, I want to sit out on my patio and just do nothing.  This is harder than you think, life is busy.

8.  Write a weekly blog post.  Some weeks I am inspired to write several posts and then there are dry spells. I want to be more consistent and write regularly, especially when it is hard to write.

9.  Put more effort into work.  Lately work has been a J-O-B. Dreading something is no way to spend 8 hours of your day.  Plus I (finally) have a really great boss. It is time to step up.

10. Have great hair and wear earrings. Coming back from vacation, I feel trashed and out of shape. It is so tempting to cover myself in a paper bag and avoid mirrors. Instead, I am going to focus on "not my body." So here is to highlights and shiny objects to help get me through this rough patch.

The Food of Paradise

Could there be a more perfect book to read on my way home?  The moment after I bought my plane ticket, I started a must-have Hawaii food list on my "Reminders" app. When most people plan a trip to Hawaii, they think about the beach and drinks with little umbrellas. I think about Family, Friend and FOOD!  Hawaii people love to eat and we love to talk about food.

Besides explaining where some of my favorite Hawaii foods originated, the book also captures why food is so important in Hawaii.  "In a society that has little in common except the language 'pidgin' where neither religion, nor literature, nor art, nor music, nor social customs, nor a long shared history provide a common ground, Local Food serves as an important, indeed essential, basis that glues the diverse people of Hawaii together."  "Recognizing this use of food as a common language drives home the point that food sustains more than the body, that it also sustains cultures. What makes people in Hawaii feel they belong is that they share Local Food."  These sentences, on page 7, perfectly capture why home and food are so intertwined in my mind and heart.

I graciously ate my way through my Hawaii trip: Korean BBQ, apple bananas, Dobash cake, lau lau, fried noodles and lychee just to name a few. Of course I had a few things mentioned in the book:

Saimin

Andagi

Teriyaki Steak

Seeds

This book provided a"story" to some of the foods I have always enjoyed.  It helped me appreciate how unique it is to grow up in Hawaii and be exposed to a fusion of food and culture. I admire the author's culinary curiosity.  Rachel Lauden weaves history and recipes together in a way that honors Hawaii's heritage. It added another layer of enjoyablity to my trip home.

"The Food of Paradise: Exploring Hawaii's Culinary Heritage" by Rachel Laudan:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Food-Paradise-Exploring-Culinary/dp/0824817788

30 Day Challenge Reflection & Wrap-up

"Cleanse" completed.  After about two weeks, it stopped seeming like a "challenge" and more just how I live my life. Guess it really doesn't take that long to form new habits.  So how did I do?

Challenge #1: No Eating Crap Food

This was actually a lot easier than I thought. Did I have cravings- yes, but surprisingly they can be resisted!  My family and friends were very supportive of my efforts. Work, however, was/is an island of temptation. I realized that treats pretty much show up on a daily basis and if I am not careful, everyday is treat day.

I did have a temporary period of naughtiness the weekend I ran the 5k. I went out to dinner with my sister and had a lovely dessert (see picture below) and then after the race I had a burrito and pinkberry. But I realize this is the true definition of a "treat". A once in a while experience, enjoyed to its fullest. So I enjoyed my "treats" and then got back to business.

Did I experience life-changing results? No, not after 30 days. The benefits were rather subtle and sometimes pointed out by other people. I felt more clarity of thought and had noticeable improved energy levels. Cravings came and went and I stuck to my goals.  I found that I do have willpower, if I approach things from logic rather than emotion.

The worst part of the "cleanse" is that I have to acknowledge that dairy and I can not be friends. It upsets digestion and causes skin havoc. Am I saying good-bye to cheese and ice cream forever?  Probably not, but they defiantly won't be making daily appearances in my food choices. I had always suspected this, but it is now confirmed.

Overall, I find that my eating habits are now dictated by thought rather than emotion. Eating or not eating something is a logical decision- it is on my plan or it isn't. I realize approaching food from an emotional standpoint turns everything into a battle of will. I usually give in, lose the battle and then food becomes all the more an emotional decision.

So where do I go from here? Vacation, of course. After my 7 days of carnage, I will probably come crawling back to healthy eating for recovery. I definitely feel better not eating crap!

Challenge #2: Journal Writing

I actually missed a day of journaling. By that I mean, I not only forgot to journal, I missed rehashing my day.  Of course I remembered this just as I had nicely tucked myself into bed, so I had to resist the urge to get up and journal. Sleep is more important than feelings (sometimes).

I did do all 6 types of journaling (diary, self-improvement, reflective, art, dream and gratitude).  Finding the time once a day to review your thoughts is a good thing and not that hard. This never felt like a chore. Sometimes writing 2 pages a day felt like a chore though.

Will I continue to journal?  Definitely. On a daily basis? Maybe, if I don't pressure myself to reach a certain length. Somedays I want to write a book, other days a tweet. I will do what serves me, since the journal is for me.

The 30 day challenge was a good experience for body and mind. I can see myself inventing and participating in new 30 day challenges. Maybe a new one each month. Hmmmm.....

Here is the heavenly treat that was so worth waiting for. A unique take on a  S'more: chocolate cake, whipped toasted marshmallow meringue and a graham cracker inspired cookie. Delicious!

1Q84 Book Review

1Q84 is a novel written by Haruki Murakami.  It was originally published as three part books series in Japanese from 2009-2010 and was an immediate sensation in Japan (according to Wikipedia).  I honestly, knew none of this when I chose to read it. The cover looked interesting- yes I judged a book by its cover.  I got myself on the library waiting list for the ebook version and was notified I had a 7-day loan period to get through almost a thousand pages. One of my challenges for journal writing was an Art Journal entry and after reading this book, I knew I had a work of art journal entry winner. 

This novel is different and I am still not sure if I mean "different" good or "different" bad.  I could see it being made into an anime movie like "Spirited Away" by Hayao Miyazaki.  There is the obvious similarity that 1Q84 is an alternate reality, but also because you have to suspend your disbelief.  The world of 1Q84 does not follow any established rules. In fact, it sole purpose seems to be to bring together the two main characters, Aomane and Tengo, together.  Fate apparently requires the complete bending of logic, suspending of reason and of course a healthy sprinkling of magic.  It seems this genre of romantic sci-fi has gone global!

I wondered if something about this story was lost in translation? The choice to make it one long book instead of 3 books like in Japan or 2 books as it was released in the UK, may have been a mistake. The American audience is an impatient one.  Our "Happily-Ever After" story lines tend to be linear and nicely wrapped up and this is not the case in IQ84.  There was a lot of repetition and details (i.e. rubber plant) that ended up not contributing to the overall plot line. Characters were disposed of and forgotten once they stopped contributing to the fated lover's plot line. When I read some of the reviews on Amazon several people mentioned the style of the book is very typical of this author.  I just felt that I was missing some kind of cultural decoder key.

I must confess, I did not actually "read" the whole book, it was just too long!  About a third of the way through,  I wikipediaed it to get a general idea of where the plot line was going before I continued skimming it. I wanted to make sure the story line would be worth the effort. The author has a very engaging style of writing.  I really got a sense of the characters lives and I genuinely liked them.  There is also a gratuitous amount of sexual content, which neither titillated or offended me.

Would I recommend this book?  Yes if you have plenty of time to kill. The story is unique and the writing style is captivating. My major problem with 1Q84 is the way the plot develops and concludes really makes no sense. For me, it was the opposite experience of "Lord of the Rings," which had an amazing story line, but was tedious to read.  I guess like all "good" art it left me with more questions than answers.

Running the 5k

Team CrossFit Centurion

 I am not a runner. In fact, I used to say, "Rani doesn't run." But over the past 7 months, Rani now does a lot of things she couldn't/wouldn't do. I am still not a runner, but I am a team player. So when my CrossFit box asked for us to participate in the Star6 Memorial run, I signed up to do a 5k.  I actually did this exact 5k in 2010.  I even trained three times a week using the Couch-2-5K running app. My time was 37:15.

This year, my goal was to beat that 37:15. This time around, I did no specific running training, just my normal CrossFit and yoga routine. And you know what?  I did beat my time by 5 minutes and came in 8th for my age division. Guess this CrossFit thing really does work.

But the real reason, I did so well is because my fellow CrossFit Centurion teammates were encouraging me on. Every time we passed each other there was a smile and wave of support. There were several moments where I really really wanted to stop running and start walking, but my girl Lauren and I stuck it out together. We kept each other going.  We ran that entire 5k!  Here we are crossing the finish line together. All smiles.

Apparently, you can successfully run a 5k, without specifically preparing for it. CrossFit teaches you not to quit, even when it gets hard. It all ensures you've got a support system. It gives you confidence. It prepares you mentally and physically for more than you can imagine.  When will I stop being surprised that those things I once thought impossible, are possible? What can I say? Rani runs.


Star6 Memorial Run: http://www.star6.org/

5k Play List

This weekend is my first 5k in 2 years. I’ve done no training, because I want to see how well CrossFit has prepared me to run. I did, however, prepare a play list by shuffling through my music on iTunes.  I picked a slower acoustic song to get me started, so that I pace myself properly from the start. The tempo then picks gradually. This is 40 minutes of music, which should be more than enough time. I should not get to Usher’s “OMG,” if I do OMG I need to pick up the pace!

Song                                                               Artist                                      Time

“Everlong” (Acoustic Version)                     Foo Fighters                                   4:10

“If We Ever Meet Again”                            Timberland & Katy Perry                  4:52

“Let it Rock”                                             Kevin Rudolph                                3:56

“Shake Remix”                                         Pitbull                                            4:13

“Just Dance”                                            Lady Gaga                                     4:01

“Dance Dance”                                         Fallout Boys                                  3:09

“We Found Love”                                      Rhianna                                        3:35

“Stronger”                                                Kanye West                                  5:12

“Sail”                                                       AWOLNATION                              3:50

“OMG”                                                     Usher                                           4:26

30 Day Challenge Check-IN

Challenge #1: No Crap Food

Days 1-3 went smoothly. Tinges of cravings appeared, but they disappeared as quickly as they came.  Day 4 presented the first challenge, when I forgot my pre-approved snack. Thankfully I had some macadamia nuts that I keep for such emergencies. Day 5, I just felt over all more tempted to cheat, but I didn't. Some leftover cookies winked at me and I just kept walking. Day 6, I challenged myself by going out to dinner with a friend and letting her choose the restaurant. I did have a bite of her dessert (mint chocolate chip ice cream), but I stopped at one bite. This is a definite improvement, usually if I give myself an inch, I take a mile.   Day 7 went smoothly, so the first week went much easier than I expected.

The second week was full of temptations.  There were leftovers at work, a pinata full of candy, a plate of brownies and cake! I stuck to my plan over and over again. It was hard to resist in the moment, but then the moment passes.  I had an intense craving for pizza and decided to try a paleoish version of pizza.  I say paleoish because I did put cheese on it. I figured since I resisted tubs of candy and plates of brownies, I should enjoy some cheese.

Recipe for Paleo Pizza Crust:  http://everydaypaleo.com/2010/08/04/everyday-paleo-pizza/


Challenge #2: Journal Writing

I thought writing 2 whole pages a day would be hard. The first few day, I made notes on my iPhone through out the day to make sure I had stuff to write about. By day 3 it was actually hard to keep to 2 pages. Once you let it flow, it flows.  I have found I break my writing sessions into a couple of times a day just and that just help me sort my stuff out better. I am much more aware of how my day is shaping up.  So far most of my journal writing has been diary, reflective or goal progress style. In order to get the other styles in, I may have to do more than 2 pages. Journaling rocks!

Schedules Are Servants, not Masters

Why is change so hard and routine so attractive?

During the dark months, I nailed down a perfect routine: 4 days of CrossFit, 2 days of yoga, Farmer’s Market on Saturday, kitchen WOD on weekend, etc.  It was a perfectly orchestrated plan, that doesn’t seem to be working now that the day light has extended itself to 8 pm.  I find it less of a comfort and more of a taskmaster. I am longing for more unstructured time, to just sit outside and do not much of anything.  

I’ve been fighting this feeling the past couple of weeks, trying to maintain my perfectly planned out schedule.  Then the other morning I woke up and thought what if I take the night off and don’t go to yoga. It immediately seemed like a good idea, so I went with it. I had a wonderful evening “off”. I did some cooking and read a book- stuff I never have time to do on a weeknight.

Part of me feels slightly guilty for missing yoga and I definitely miss the stretched out relaxing feeling from a practice. But I do have a greater sense of mental clarity and a lowered stress level.  I am holding myself to a plan that no longer serves my needs. The longer days seem to be encouraging lingering.  No more fighting it!  I am just doing whatever or nothing or maybe lots of stuff- it just depends.  Welcome unstructured time, sometimes I need you too.

In related news, I decided to stop posting on the Adventures in Yumminess blog. It started off as a fun way to encourage my culinary skills, but has been a total chore from some time now.  So I decided after 100 posts I would stop. Instead I am stopping at post 93, 7 short of my goal.  It is kinda killing me to leave it at this odd, almost there number.  But the energy it would take to get those last 7 posts in is simply not a good use of my time.  One hundred post is holding myself to a goal that no longer serves my needs. It feels like quitting and I am struggling to be okay with that.

The season has shifted and so has my energies.   My schedule needs to work for me, not me working to make my schedule happen. My lesson for this month: schedules and routines are tools not, not rules. Revise as needed. Breathing sigh of relief….and making peace with me new not-so-scheduled time.

CrossFit- A Look Back at the First Six Months

For me, CrossFit has been an epic story of doing something, that I did not think possible. It took over a year for me to give it a try and I loved/hated that first trial WOD. I knew I wanted to do it, but I didn’t quite believe that I could do it. I was intimidated and intrigued, but eventually curiosity won and I signed up for a month.

November 2011: I show up at the box for my foundation class early. I try not to look panicked or overwhelmed while watching the Saturday morning class finish up their WOD.   I have no athletic background and have not being doing any kind of regular exercise program for over a year.  I am so far out of my comfort zone and a nearly hyperventilating when my class starts. I make it through the next four hours completely bewildered by all the new terminology and ways I am supposed to maneuver my body around a barbell. I manage to not cry, throw-up or pass out- that is something!

I go home and hit up the ibuprofen and promise myself I will stick with this for 3 months, 3 times a week. I email or text all my friends this pledge and tell them to hold me to it. I plan out what days I am going to go each week and stick to the plan. On the appointed days, I drive to the box and literally sit outside in my truck and psyche myself to go in.  Once I get inside, I try to look not scared, but my eyes are all fear.

December 2012: The first two months are pretty much like the first day. I become aware at how completely terrible I am at CrossFit.  I learn what it feels like to be doing your absolute best and still be disappointed in yourself. The coaches are friendly, attentive and patient and that makes all the difference. They assure me my brain will create neuron paths, so that these movements become possible. The physical part is hard, but the mental part is brutal. No one likes to suck at something. I spend huge amounts of energy counseling myself through WODs, trying not to cry or quit. Then I go home and try not to think about how much I sucked.

January 2012: One random day about two and a half months in, I start sucking a little less. As I put my dumbbells away, a trainer says “you are doing MUCH better.” The way he emphasized the “MUCH” made me laugh, because I can only imagine what the first 2 months of WODs looked like (sometimes I wish I had video). I remember the reason I decided to do this in the first place- I like a challenge.

Just as I am starting to feel good about things, I met Angie and immediately go back to panic mode. Angie is benchmark WOD: 100 pull-ups, 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats.  The pull-ups terrify me and I immediate seek out the trainer for a WOD modification. He tells me to use bands and I calmly scream “I can’t do 100 pull-ups even with all the colored bands.” I must look on the verge of insanity because he gives me a modification- I am to do pull-ups with bands until I can only do one to failure and then I can switch to ring rows. Satisfied with my out, I start my pull-ups.  When I get to 60, I start realizing 100 just might be possible. By the time I am at one to failure, I am at 90 pull-ups and there is no way I am not finishing this. So I knock out the last 10 one-by-one, stunned that I actually did it! This is a turning point for me- I just did 100 pull-ups- something I thought was impossible!!!!  My brain nearly exploded from the neuron growth!

February 2012: I finished out month three with enough confidence to decide to start coming 4 times a week.  This is when I really started to see results. The first thing I noticed is the warm-up is actually a warm-up- I am not getting winded.  Next, some WODs are actually “easier” than others, whereas, before every WOD was equal torture.  I am able to start pinpointing what I am good at (running, squats, jump rope) and what I am not good at (wall ball, box jumps, anything involving a barbell).  Since I am less stressed about the physical part of CrossFit I am actually smiling more and making friendly chatter with others. CrossFit is becoming a fun challenge and a social spot.

March 2012: Doing CrossFit four times a week is going great! I am making noticeable progress and even have some definition in my arms. I can get through hard WODs, by becoming a robot. I turn off my feelings and just do it! At the end of the WOD, I am getting the “high” of a job well done. I am enjoying myself and want more, but going four times a week also hurts.

As I am debating going five times a week, I find an article that describes yoga as a yang to CrossFit’s yin (http://myathleticlife.com/2011/12/crossfit-yoga-definition-yin-yang/).   I have never even had the slightest interested in doing yoga, but now I am thinking about it.  Driving home, I notice there is a yoga studio opening across the street from my house.  Unable to ignore that sign, I go online and see they have a $30 for 30 days promotion. So I decide to give it a try for 30 days.

April 2012: I am CrossFitting four times a week and doing yoga two times a week.  I don’t suck at yoga. My natural flexibility, which is sometimes a problem at CrossFit, ensures I am never the worse person in the class.  Besides being a much-needed ego boost, I find yoga is a wonderful compliment to CrossFit and definitely helps stretch out my sore muscles.  I start to apply the yoga breathing to CrossFit.  For example, burpees become “breathing exercises” inhale up exhale down. “Breathing through the discomfort” gives me another way to get through a difficult WOD.

I start doing the strength training days to become better friends with the barbell.  I work on my “spirit breakers.” First up is wall balls. After five WODs with hundreds of wall balls, I get over my issues. Next up is box jumps, I start with the smallest box and am working my way up to the 20 inches. I talk about my “spirit breakers” and find that everyone has that something that they are trying to master.  When the “Filthy Fifty” shows up as a WOD, I take a deep breath in and remind myself I did “Angie” so nothing is impossible. I turn the “Filthy Fifty” into a checklist and get all the items done in 35 minutes.

CrossFit has given me resilience- I can handle hard things. It has changed my mindset about what is possible. Some WODs still scare me, but that is now countered with the thrill of the challenge. I know I will have a bunch of people to go through it with and we will cheer each other on.  Six months into CrossFit, I am an "athlete". I still have many things to work on, but now I actually believe they can happen.  The past six months have been an amazing mental, physical and at time emotionally transformation. I look forward to the challenges ahead.