Overvaluing the "Struggle"

Doing a handstand is one of the rare athletic skills I have been blessed with. I pop up on the wall and hold my ground.  Others struggle- really struggle.  For some reason, both the yoga and CrossFit worlds in my life have decided the ability to do a handstand is of the upmost importance.  Of course, they take completely different approaches. I have been observing the advice they each give and how successful they are at getting people into a handstand.

At CrossFit there is only one step to doing a handstand: Get on the wall-Now!  Can't throw yourself up on the wall? Climb up the wall with your feet. Do it- Now!  Keep doing it until you get on the wall.

Yoga's approach is very gentle and there are multiple paths.  You can start with a familiar pose like down dog or dolphin and try to climb youself up a wall. You can move from goddess to crow to the beginnings of handstand. You can pair up with someone and take turns helping each other into handstand. I watched an instructor lead a class through 10 minutes of preliminary poses to the handstand.  By the time is was time for the big finale of attempting handstand, everyone looked worn out? I didn't know handstand could be turned it into a 27 step process?

So which method is more successful? Based on my (limited) observations, the CrossFit method gets more people in handstand and gets them there faster. I think this comes from the assumption behind the instructions. CrossFit treats handstand like a skill you need to do,so just do it already. Yoga marinates in the the "struggle" of getting to handstand.

I had a eight month "struggle" with box jumps. My CrossFit trainers repeated the same two part instructions over and over- look beyond the box and jump.    I couldn't get myself to jump on the 20 inch wooden box. So I got the mini-boxes and jumped on one, then stacked on another mini-box and jumped on two. I slowly built my confidence to 4 boxes, which was slightly higher than 20 inches.  I knew I could clear 20 inches, but I still couldn't jump on the wooden box.  So I focused on my feelings. I screamed and had melt downs in WODs, trying to get myself up on the box.  Eventually, I realized "struggling" was getting me no where. I forced myself on top of the box over and over until there was no more struggle, only success.

It is true, you can learn alot about yourself in the "struggle."  However, at some point, focusing on the struggle impedes progress.  You can only learn so much from your failures, evenutally, you need a success. Sometimes you have to stop investing in the struggle and leap onto the box or plant your hands on the ground and kick yourself up onto that wall.

Competition Day

Am I a competitor? Nine months into CrossFit and I entered my first competition to figure out the answer to that question.  It was an in-house competition, so very low on competitiveness and high on encouragement.  I spent 6 weeks preparing, working on the skills we were given hints on, and even had training partners. A week before the event, the workouts were released and I polished up my weaknesses (box jumps, rip digs, knees to elbows and cleans).  I scaled my workout during the week and took a rest day. I was prepared as I could be.

I had three goals: 1) get through all the workouts in the time cap 2) give my best performance and 3) have a good attitude and have some fun! I also hoped this would help me determine if I wanted to compete and of course I hoped to win. I did finish all the workouts in the time cap, I gave my best performance and I had fun. But I didn’t win. I came in last place. I would be lying if I said that didn’t sting. 

I allowed myself a tantrum. I had worked hard to come in last place? I could have done nothing and still been in last place! Not fair! I examined my performance- why hadn’t I done better?  I thought about quitting CrossFit, because obviously I suck! Fortunately, the six weeks of training and competition had worn me out to the point where I didn’t have that much energy to carry on a pity party.

So I got down to business. What could I have done better? Nothing. I can honestly say I did my best to prepare for the competition and then I gave my absolute best performance. If I hadn’t trained for six weeks, I would have never been able to do the workout or finish them in the allotted time. The other competitors were simply better than me.  That realization stung too.

The competition wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be a straightforward experience- do workouts and get points.  It was much more than that.  It was about summoning every ounce of will you have to keep going, connecting to others and finding determination to carry on, even when nothing goes as expected. 

Will I continue to compete? I don’t know. I will give it a couple more tries, but maybe my “best” will never be at the level needed for competition.   The real question I had to ask myself is “am I willing to do what it takes to be better and faster?” Well, I am a CrossFitter, so of course the answer is yes! The good news is coming in last means I have nothing to lose- I am either going to do the same or improve.  I didn’t “win”, but I also didn’t “lose” and I am far from giving up.  Sounds like a  competitor to me.

The Weight of Numbers

“As much as you work out, how have you not lost weight?” asked a person, who shall remain unnamed. A blunt question, but a fair one.   I’ve been doing Cross Fit 4-5 times a week, yoga at least once a week and eating decently. Yet I look the same? I haven’t weighed myself since January, because I didn’t own a scale.

 I finally bought a scale and was not surprised to find the number hasn’t changed much (I lost 3 lbs.).  My clothes still fit the same.  So according to the scale, nothing much has changed.  According to my Cross Fit log, a lot has changed! I am lifting at least 40 lbs heavier on all movements.  I also have a new mental fortitude- I do hard things because they are hard.  Somewhere along the line, I started chasing performance and forgot about appearance.  

Prior to Cross Fit, I believed I was physically weak and mentally strong. Eight months into Cross Fit, it is the exact opposite. I am physically stronger than I imagined and have lots of room to grow my mental game.  Every day, I look forward to pushing myself to be stronger, faster and better.  Now if that also mean losing lbs and having abs of steal- so be it! 

The reason I finally bought a scale was so I could calculate the percentage of my body weight I can lift.  Body weight does not tell the whole story, so don’t let the scale dictate your fitness experience. For me, performance outweighs appearance. 

So how did I respond to the unnamed person’s question?  I said, “Come do a Cross Fit WOD and then talk to me about my weight.” That shut down inquires about my weight. You get to choose how much numbers should weigh.

Here is some inspiring stuff :
http://www.niashanks.com/2012/07/stop-weighing-on-the-scale-for-weight-loss/

Homemade Bone Broth

Making my own broth from scratch somehow got classified as a kitchen milestone in my mind.  I felt I was missing out on something by not making my own broth.  It was something I kept putting off, until one Saturday, I noticed my favorite grass-fed beef vendor carried beef bones. On a whim, I bought a bag and then searched the Internet for a recipe.  I really hadn't thought out past thinking I should one day make broth from bones. As luck would have it, I found a recipe using my beloved crockpot! Crockpot equals add ingredients and walk away. In fact, the recipe said the longer it cooks, the better!

The recipe link is below:

Ingredients:

4 quarts of filtered water
1.5- 2 lbs of beef knuckle bones or marrow bones
3-5 cloves of fresh garlic

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
1Tsp unrefined sea salt 

Preparation:

Place all ingredients in a 6 quart crockpot and set the heat to HIGH

Bring the stock to a boil, then reduce the heat setting to LOW.

Allow the stock to cook for a minimum of 8 hours and up to 24 hours. The longer it cooks, the better!

Turn off the crockpot and allow the stock to cool.

Strain the stock through a fine mesh metal strainer and throw away what you skim off.

I had made my very first batch of homemade broth. I cooled it in the refrigerator and got the promised gelatinous consistency and layer of tallow.  Success! 

I gently scraped off the tallow and warmed myself up a few bowls, but really couldn't bring myself to do much else.  I was underwhelmed by the homemade broth milestone and uninspired to really do anything with it. I still have half a pack of bones to make another batch?  It was super easy to do and people rave about how nutritious it is, so I will try it again. 

I somehow thought this would be a more exciting sense of accomplishment.  Apparently, making something tasty from a bag of bones is not magical. But it is another kitchen skill to add to the collection. Not all bucket list items are superstars.

http://balancedbites.com/2011/04/easy-recipe-mineral-rich-bone-broth.html

Busy Joy

I love going to yoga on Sunday mornings.  It is a good way to reset mentally for the coming week. It is kinda like going to church, especially because the instructor will usually provide a topic for the practice. This Sunday's "sermon" was about the three things that make life happy: peace, love and joy.  We were to pick the one we were most lacking in our lives and think on it.  I have peace and love, but sometimes life is so busy I don't feel like there is time to actually enjoy it. Joy comes from having a purpose in the things you do. So I decided to actually map out what it is I am doing with my time.  Here is a 24 hour snap shot of my life:

5:45 am:  Wake up.Check CrossFit Centurion's website for today's WOD (Trust me, I am not the only one who does this first thing!). Get up, uncover the parakeets,turn the Keurig on and jump in the shower.

6:10am:  Make breakfast (sausage, eggs and coffee), pack lunch, clean up kitchen. Get ready for work while listening the Carly Rae Jepsen channel on Pandora. 
7:10am:  Commute to work, still listening to Carly Rae Jepsen channel on Pandora.  It is Monday, I need some lightness to start off the week.

7:50am to 4:20pm: Working like a state worker.  At lunch I start reading my library e-book "The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time."

4:30pm: Head home. Listening to my ipod on shuffle- I was in a spontaneous kind of mood.

5:00pm: Got home and prep dinner (chicken and artichoke). Had pre-CrossFit snack and fed parakeets. I also rolled out and stretched for 5 minutes- I am still feeling Saturday's workout.

6:00pm: Head over to CrossFit. Today's WOD is called "Suicide Watch." I've done this one before- it is sprints and kettle bell swings. Good news: you won't kill youself. Bad news: you will want to throw up.  I am just glad it doesn't invovle lifting heavy things repeatedly! After WOD worked on handstand pushups.

8:15pm: Eat dinner, clean up kitchen, shower and watch BattleStar Galactica.

10pm: Bedtime.  7.5 hours of sleep!

So the majority of my day is taken up by work (10 hours with commute time. That is 60% of my waking hours).  Life is busy!  Is it too busy to schedule in some joy?  I think the best way is to sneak in enjoyment through out the day: listening to music on the way to work, have some dark chocolate and tea after lunch, socializing at CrossFit. Life is what you make it. I can make it in to a grind or a flow.  The most important part is to be aware of these little moments of joy and fully enjoy them. That is my busy joy flow.

Summer 2012

Happy Summer Solistice! The first day of summer- yay!  The weather heated up sometime ago, so I am pleasantly surprised that the "actual" summer has just begun. Time seems to be moving more quickly with each year and how my time is spent seems a little unclear. So I decided to set some goals for my summer. This is my attempt to catch those fleeting moments and form them into a bigger purpose.

Goals for Summer 2012

1.  Be my "Best" self. The best I ever felt was during my 30 Day Challenge. Good nutrition led to good sleep and that led to good CrossFit performance. On top of that I wrote in my journal daily to hash out my day. So my first goal is to really take care of myself. Eat good foods, get enough sleep, and write in my journal. This should give me a solid base for the rest of my goals.

2.  Master the box jump. There is a 20" wooden box at CrossFit that is vexing me. Sometimes I can jump on it and sometimes I can't and the difference is all in my mind. These are my new spirit breakers and I am determine to jump on the box without flinching. Here is how it is suppose to go:
http://www.livestrong.com/video/5306-box-jumps/


3.  Give my best performance at the CrossFit Centurion in-house competition "War of the Centurions." I have never competed in an athletic event in my entire life, so this one is kind of a big deal for me. I expect I will learn a lot about myself. 

4.  Learn to grill like a pro.  I already ordered my grill and can't wait to get started. I loved grilled meats and veggies, but have never really grilled myself. Time to learn!

5.  Make and follow a budget (that includes savings).  Since I moved in January, my financial management could best be described as "by-the-seat-of-your pants."  I actually manage millions of dollars for a living, surely I can do it for myself as well (and there is much less than a million to manage for myself :).

6.  Watch all episodes of BattleStar Galactica & Caprica.  I used to make fun of people who watched BattleStar Galactica. I apologize. This is good stuff, but getting through 100ish episodes is a commitment!

7.  Have more "do nothing" time. Summer inspires lazy days. At least once a week, I want to sit out on my patio and just do nothing.  This is harder than you think, life is busy.

8.  Write a weekly blog post.  Some weeks I am inspired to write several posts and then there are dry spells. I want to be more consistent and write regularly, especially when it is hard to write.

9.  Put more effort into work.  Lately work has been a J-O-B. Dreading something is no way to spend 8 hours of your day.  Plus I (finally) have a really great boss. It is time to step up.

10. Have great hair and wear earrings. Coming back from vacation, I feel trashed and out of shape. It is so tempting to cover myself in a paper bag and avoid mirrors. Instead, I am going to focus on "not my body." So here is to highlights and shiny objects to help get me through this rough patch.

The Food of Paradise

Could there be a more perfect book to read on my way home?  The moment after I bought my plane ticket, I started a must-have Hawaii food list on my "Reminders" app. When most people plan a trip to Hawaii, they think about the beach and drinks with little umbrellas. I think about Family, Friend and FOOD!  Hawaii people love to eat and we love to talk about food.

Besides explaining where some of my favorite Hawaii foods originated, the book also captures why food is so important in Hawaii.  "In a society that has little in common except the language 'pidgin' where neither religion, nor literature, nor art, nor music, nor social customs, nor a long shared history provide a common ground, Local Food serves as an important, indeed essential, basis that glues the diverse people of Hawaii together."  "Recognizing this use of food as a common language drives home the point that food sustains more than the body, that it also sustains cultures. What makes people in Hawaii feel they belong is that they share Local Food."  These sentences, on page 7, perfectly capture why home and food are so intertwined in my mind and heart.

I graciously ate my way through my Hawaii trip: Korean BBQ, apple bananas, Dobash cake, lau lau, fried noodles and lychee just to name a few. Of course I had a few things mentioned in the book:

Saimin

Andagi

Teriyaki Steak

Seeds

This book provided a"story" to some of the foods I have always enjoyed.  It helped me appreciate how unique it is to grow up in Hawaii and be exposed to a fusion of food and culture. I admire the author's culinary curiosity.  Rachel Lauden weaves history and recipes together in a way that honors Hawaii's heritage. It added another layer of enjoyablity to my trip home.

"The Food of Paradise: Exploring Hawaii's Culinary Heritage" by Rachel Laudan:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Food-Paradise-Exploring-Culinary/dp/0824817788