Self Defense is Hard

     Are you willing to do what it takes to defend yourself?  I thought the answer was fairly obviously since I signed up for the five part self-defense class.  Three classes in and I realize facing aggressive behavior and scary situations is complex.  There are the physical factors of fighting someone, who is bigger and stronger.  But what it really comes down to is your willingness to act to defend yourself.  We all have the physical capacity to defend ourselves; it is the mental part that a class in self-defense helps you works on. 

      We have been told over and over again “don’t hit other people.”   It is actually hard to hit someone, even if they are in a padded suit and a trained professional is telling you to hit them!  Even once I got over my hesitation, I didn’t really know how to hit someone effectively. You have to put your whole body into it and keep going and going until you can get away from the creepy bad guy. I have lots of bruises on my arms and legs from practicing.  Fighting someone off is not easy.

     The mental part of it is deciding what to do in that moment when you feel threatened and scared.   Being able to think under pressure, access the situation and have a plan of action to defend yourself.   Last week we did scenarios to start applying the “skills” we have been learning. Guess what I did when faced with my first scenario?  I froze with indecision:  Should I fight? Should I run? Should I scream?  I couldn’t even pick one, I just froze (which the instruction assure me is normal). Even in a “pretend” situation, when I expected it, it was not easy.

     When I signed up for this class, I thought I had the mental stuff down already and was just going to learn some physical skills.   I am learning both and gaining confidence in myself.  Most importantly, I am learning to address that creepy gut feeling and do something about it, rather than try to pretend it isn’t happening or overthinking it.

     Self-defense is hard. It forces you to dig down into yourself and examine what you are willing to do to stay safe.  You have to think about uncomfortable “what-ifs.”  And you do all of this in the hopes you will never ever have to use it.    

“This above all, to refuse to be a victim”-  Margaret Atwood

Here are some recommendations if you are interested in learning more about self-defense:

The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.  This book covers a lot of the mental and emotional aspects of being in the scary “what-if” situations. 

I had been looking for a self-defense course for months before I found Nor-Cal Self Defense (http://www.nor-calselfdefense.com/  .  To find a course in your area, I would suggest checking at local colleges, the library, community centers, asking around and of course the internet.  I think an effective program will allow you opportunities to actually practice self-defense, not just talk to you about it.