CrossFit Games Open 13.4

    Week 4.   I prepared myself for pull-ups- my biggest fear because I can't do them.  It's not pull-ups! Hooray!  It is Clean & Jerks and Toes to Bar.

7 minute AMRAP

3 Clean & Jerk @ 95lbs

3 Toes To Bar 

6  Clean & Jerk @ 95lbs

6 TTB

9  Clean & Jerk @ 95lbs

9 TTB

...continue in increase sets of 3 until time runs out

     Now I have never actually done a Clean & Jerk at 95 lbs. I can do Toes to Bar- sporadically. Some days it is there and some days it is not.  That being said, my goal was any score that is one or greater.  A score of 1 equals a PR (personal record) and I would be very proud to get there.  If I could get through the first round of 3, I would be ecstatic!  

     I was really unprepared for the mental challenge this would pose.  I don't like cleans and I've never lifted 95lbs over my head. I was nervous and I let that get to me for the first two minutes. I failed over and over and over.  I went from nervous to panic to frustration to tears. The tears are what finally turned me around, I decided this would not end in tears. Determination.

     The first time I  cleaned the bar up, I heard the screaming cheers before my brain registered that I had finally succeeded.  That was a beautiful moment. I felt relief- at least I was on the score board. I would like to tell you that once I got past the first one it was smooth sailing. It wasn't.  I probably made 3 or 4 attempts for every one that actually counted.  But having succeeded once helped me shake off failure easier.  Also, my coaches never gave up on me and neither did my fellow crossfitters- their support means more than any words of appreciation I can say.

     I managed to get through 3 Clean & Jerks, 3 TTB, 6 Clean & Jerks and 1 TTB for a total score of 13!  The TTB was actually my limiting factor. I kept getting within an inch of touching the bar. I gave it my all for 7 minutes and I am so proud of my (crappy) score.  I got 95lbs from ground to overhead 9 times!  I performed under pressure!  I got my mental game back from a meltdown!  13.4 was definitely my moment of glory.  It was raw and it was real.

     Four weeks down and just one to go.  My "it's not pull-ups" mindset is actually really working for me. I should have shuddered at 95 lbs or 150 wall balls or 17 minutes of burpees and snatches.  Instead, I celebrated that I could actually do those movements.  One more week to go, I am hoping for overhead squats and burpees. But really I'll take anything, as long as it is not pull-ups :)